As You Lay Sleeping
by Min-rin-e
Summary: "They both know the inevitable, but here they are, floundering clumsily in the dark for each other". In which Sharon comforts Break after the incident at Yura's mansion, and Break ponders what she means to him in the anonymity of the night.


Disclaimer: I do not own Pandora Hearts or its wonderful characters-Jun Mochizuki does!

Inspired by the latest chapter where Break and Sharon share a sweet moment.

This is my first story! Enjoy, I hope it's good.

**As You Lay Sleeping**

By the time Break comes to, it is already night. The moon shines brightly through the bay window of the window, bathing everything in silver. An intoxicating warmth and comfortable softness entices him to fall back to blissful sleep, but the clockworks of his mind have already begun to turn, urging him to the state of alertness. Perhaps it was out of habit—his need to be on guard and ready at any moment's notice. But for once he is at peace. Muscles and bones do not ache, no phantom pains from where his eye used to be, no lingering images of nightmares and blood or screams and madness dancing through his mind. Sleep is luxury he does not enjoy often, but it makes the occasion all the sweeter.

_Much sweeter_.

It is quiet and the only sound he hears is the soft breathing of his Lady Sharon, who lies next to him in deep sleep.

He remembers now—the intimate moment shared only between the two of them. She had come by to visit him then, in his pitiable, sheet covered, vulnerable state, filled with shame and guilt.

"_I can't believe it. Did you just realize that now?"_

Yet she had the mouth to tell him all his faults and follies in a single breath.

"_You're not some hero who can do anything by himself, you're a middle-aged man who's deluded himself into thinking he can do everything alone! In your arrogance you're always making fun of others, you're always acting like you know everything and yet you never reveal anything! You pose as an adult but you're a perfectionist who can't accept defeat! You're always meddling in other people's affairs, but God forbid someone do the same to you!"_

She exclaimed with a ferocity that is almost comical, her composure cast aside as she went on about how he can't dance or fall into step with other people, and that he treats her like a child.

_No, she is not a child, _Break thought under his sheet, a sheepish smile made its way to his features.

She saw right through him with eyes beyond her years—she knew all along but she was always there.

_Even if I wasn't aware of it, she was always by my side._

And so he let his head rest on her shoulder, walls broken, barriers cast aside, exposing himself to her. Letting her warmth seep through the sheets, his clothes, his skin, his bones, the years upon years weighing on his soul.

"_Sharon, for a little while…let me be a good-for-nothing like this."_

He is the sinner known as Kevin Regnard, the madman known as Xerxes Break, contractor to the Mad Hatter, servant of the Rainsworth House—but just this once, let him be a simple man with nothing to his name, just a man.

"_It's alright," her sweet voice rangs in his ear, he could feel the gentle vibrations from her throat. "It's just me here now."_

And so the two of them eventually surrendered themselves to sleep, hand in hand.

Break shifts onto his side to face Sharon, the look of slight amusement gracing his features. Look at the two of them here, falling asleep on this floor. This was hardly a place for a woman of her standing to sleep, much less be here with him, a lowly servant. What would the other nobles say to this? It would cause quite a scandal, but he would dare not blacken his mistress' name. He ought to move her, take her to her chambers and have her put to bed properly but he does not that the heart to carry away from this place by his side. He wants nothing more than to indulge in his selfishness, just for this moment.

She is lovely in the moonlight, he stares unabashedly. He strains his eye, trying to put the blended colors he sees to focus on the fine details of her visage. Porcelain skin glows radiantly, her honey blonde tresses falling in her face like a luxurious veil. How soft her hair feels, his slender fingers finding their way to her locks. Her long graceful lashes, her full, pink lips parted with the breaths she takes—the details he etches in his mind and heart.

He pulls her into him.

She sighs softly, the small wisp of breath tickling his chest where his shirt is slightly open. He tries to suppress the shiver that courses through him. The feeling of her curves against him, so utterly feminine, brings sudden warmth that pools within him—his heart beats faster, his breath quickens. He wants to untie the bow that garnishes her slender neck; he wants to feel the soft covers of those shoulders, her collarbone—he wants more.

His delicate embrace around her tightens by a fraction.

_Is this what it feels like to be a lover?_ He wonders, letting his chin rest on the crown of her head, feelings he shouldn't be feeling stirring restlessly within him.

He knows he cannot have her.

Though they do not age, their time together is short. They only live a sham of immortality.

He is dying.

And God forbid, they fall deeper in love—she will be the one who gets hurt in the end.

She should not tie herself to him.

They both know the inevitable, but here they are, floundering clumsily in the dark for each other.

_How hopeless,_ Break muses.

"Sharon," he whispers. Her name rolls off his tongue wonderfully and sweetly, but it is a forbidden pleasure as a servant is not supposed to use his mistress' name so freely. But for the moments he treasures with her, he cannot help it.

As if in reply, Sharon murmurs something incoherent in her sleep. Her arm moves, placing itself on his hip in loose embrace as she snuggles closer to his warmth.

Break smiles. The clock is ticking, and from his long years he knows both eternity and transience. But for now he wishes for this least bit of happiness to be suspended in the time of the clockworks of his heart, keepsakes for when the morning comes. And by then, it is time to move forward again—he will leave his lady's side and she will not have a trace of what has happened tonight.

**End**


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